So, what can you expect from the Eleventh National Bisexual Conference?
Well, you can expect the best bisexual T-shirt ever, very nice breakfast, enough vegan food (what it is to have the power to chose the menu!), a chance to meet up with all your friends, discussions on just about everything, events designed for newcomers and old-timers alike, and hopefully enough support for if it all gets too much.
Consultation has been great fun. We sent out loads of questionnaires which were designed for us earlier this year (although on reflection some of us feel they were completely incomprehensible!). We've sold subscriptions to our minutes (and so far nobody has commented on any of the decisions we've taken, so we must be doing everything right). And we've spent long hours looking at the compiled feedback from the last ten conferences and trying to reconcile all the contradictions. (When you've got one note which says the venue was too big and another saying it was too small, you just know you've got to disappoint someone).
The biggest job was finding a venue: we all thought that Nottingham was full of suitable places, but when we started to ask questions like "is this wheelchair accessible?" the list rapidly shrunk. What made the big difference in the end was the financial support of the Health Education Authority, which enabled us to subsidise accommodation at Nottingham University. The University had become our first choice, but until we heard from the HEA it would have been too expensive - many thanks to the HEA's Bisexuality Working Group for pushing that through for us.
As with previous conferences, there will be a range of activities, discussions, workshops, and talks over the three days, including space for impromptu events and repeat runs. This year we will also be having a wider range of other activities, for all those times when you've just had enough of intense discussions. Live music, parachute games, volleyball, and a very big rounders match are just some of what's on offer - we're keeping a few surprises and entertainments up our sleeves. We hope that this years conference will be a place where people can celebrate their sexuality in as many ways as possible - and even have time to do things which have nothing to do with sexuality at all!
One of the most exciting things is that Claire Dowie, an award winning bisexual performer is writing and performing a one woman show specially for us. If you want to get a taste of Claire's unique take on gender and sexuality and life in general , you can catch her play "Death and Dancing" in London at the Shaw theatre from 21st to 25th of September. Telephone their box office on [phone number].
We didn't get everything we wanted of course. One of the biggest disappointments was that the planned bisexual film festival simply disappeared. The cinema recently told us they had no record of our five letters or twenty phonecalls (?!) and had booked other events for the times we'd agreed. Not being able to provide crash space at the venue or people's homes has also been a problem. Our creative solution has been to book a campsite and tents, plus lay on transport, so that anyone who can't afford residential accommodation will have somewhere to stay. (There may be a nominal cost to cover this).
Oh, and for anyone who still hasn't made up their minds: one of the deciding factors for this venue is that it has a hotel license, which means that the bar will stay open each night until there is no-one left to serve. Don't say we didn't try and get the best for you!
The 11th National Bisexual Conference in Nottingham reports the highest attendance yet at a bisexual conference with 248 registrations and over 250 people in attendance including workers and the collective themselves.
The conference also attracted attention from the media with reporter Dixie Mann from Greater London Radio and another from a French radio station prowling around looking for quotes. They (and Bifrost) were kept in check by Caramel, the conference press officer. It was the first time such a post had been needed, after the unprecedented media attention at the 10th Conference in Norwich last year, and she not only protected people from the press, but also did an excellent job of finding people for us all to interview.
So the eleventh national Bisexual Conference is over and done. At times the three crammed days in Nottingham seemed like an exercise in sleep deprivation. There was so much to do that I hope conferences grow longer, that we may all sample more. What I did and the flavour I got out of it might have little to do with another person's experiences.
Motoring up in the official London Bisexual Group minibus, I learned several shocking new verses to "She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain". On arrival I registered, took my room key, and discovered that the bed in my study cell was significantly wider than the one last year in Norwich. Evidently universities have seen that the 1980s-style HIV transmission prevention policy didn't work: narrow mattresses provide no protection. Much more sensible and comfortable to have beds made for sharing.
This was put to the proof later when the heating in the halls failed and many of us resorted to bisexual bodywarmth-sharing strategies to get us through the nights. As I said, a sleepless conference. However...
The daytime round of workshops covered a lot of ground. I had a chance to discuss local groups, the structure of relationships with friends and lovers, public sex policy, broader political movements, and other subjects more informally. I have to say that the most exhilarating workshops for me were the ones I led. The nervous changed to positive excitement as participants began to respond to the themes I proposed: on separate days, Paganism, dialogue between lesbian and bi women, and "Where do you belong?" (finding your space between communities). For anyone who's wondering how they could possibly facilitate something next year, I say, go for it!
The socials in the evenings were enjoyed, too. I don't have space to list them all, but the Brazilian band had great energy, Claire Dowie great wit, and the Saturday night disco great...attendance.
On Friday I'd noticed that I was one of very few wearing a dress, so the following day, having decided that as a minority we must be oppressed and therefore in need of solidarity, I put the following announcement on the noticeboard: "The Frock Support Group will meet at the disco tonight. Wear your best dress and we'll dance together! - Roberta in the wine velvet)". It worked a treat.
Also on the noticeboard was a good luck message from Peter Tatchell of Outrage, and requests for old jokes turned new, viz:
Q: What does a gay man take on the second date?
A: Second date?
Q: What does a lesbian take on the second date?
A: Everything she owns.
Q: What does a bisexual take on the second date?
followed by a very large blank space which folks wrote in:-
Someone else; A strap-on; Their cat; Their time; Dope; The initiative; I've no idea - you can't expect me to be decisive; A large cucumber; Notes (to post to soc.bi next day); Their partner; The piss (in my experience). And also "their toolbox". Someone explain this one to me, please. (Or maybe not).
There was another sheet of paper requesting suggestions for bisexual pick-up lines. "Lea de Laria, America's funniest lesbian, dusts here face and says: let me clear you a seat." But my favourite tied into the Conference: "I've got heating in my room..."
So the eleventh National Bisexual Conference is over and done. Here I part company with last month's article. My flavour does have little to do with that auditor's experiences. I have a number of genuine problems, pointless gripes, and futile complaints about BiCon this year. These are things I hope next year will be avoided.
Where did all the money go? Some, but not all of it was visible. Oh yes there was a lot to do and see. Too much, in my opinion: "Hmm, a nice night in the bar after a long day of workshops, a chance to unwind and actually talk to a load of bisexuals from around the country without having to keep to one topic, or worry about interrupting the facilitator. Ah yes, a nice night. Oh no, a samba band." A bisexual samba band? A not-bisexual samba band, but one playing bisexual samba tunes? A not-bisexual samba band playing not-bisexual samba tunes that a bisexual might want to leave his/her pint to go and watch? Nay, nay and thrice nay. So what happens? The samba band, well aware that they are not giving us our money's worth, decide to stand in the bar too. I'm sorry, but doesn't being pointedly ignored by the masses give any clues as to your popularity? Why were they there in the first place?
Safer sex material is important, and one would hope high priority if we're having unsightly amounts of money thrown at us by the HEA. Where was it? It was in a small cardboard box at the desk in Derby Hall. Was there a sign saying "Condoms and Dental Dams and info on safe sex for bi girls and boys here"? - no, there wasn't. Was there condoms and Dental Dams and info on safe sex for bi girls and boys? No, there was condoms and advice for gay men. I'm sorry, but which conference is this? Oh really, just checking.
The band on Saturday and the disco. [fx: teeth grinding] I'm sorry but whose brilliant idea was it to cut into the disco time with some dreadful guitar-mauling wailing people like that? I do sincerely hope the HEA's money didn't go on the band. Especially not if they were in anyway connected to any members of the conference collective. Just a thought, you understand. The disco! Yes, there were a number of people in intriguing get-ups. Yes, there were people dancing and having a great time. But despite, I fancy, the music ... I went up to the DJ and asked for: any Abba, any Queen, any 70s disco, anything from Rocky Horror or "I'm too sexy" by Right Said Fred. Did they have any of them? Yes, but they hadn't brought them with them! I'm sorry, but where did they think they were going of an evening? Didn't the name of their gig "The National Bisexual Conference" give any clues as to the sort of music that would get most people on the dance floor? Do we really have to go as far as to give the entertainment a playlist?
"Oh, but it was a happy conference, there wasn't the griping at plenaries that we had in Norwich..." True. There wasn't any plenaries. Personally I'd much rather people voiced their grievances aloud and returned the year after to see if we've improved, than feel isolated in silence. Admittedly the fact that breakfast and the conference were separated by a ten minute uphill walk might have had something to do with their absence from the programme. Of course, that's ten minutes if your legs are as able as mine, but I'm sure others will make that point...
I'm sorry, but am I being unreasonable? But I did have a good time. Honest. And I'll be there next year. So I hope I won't have to write this again...